


Slacks so Crisp They Could Cut You

by africancat



Category: On My Block (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Sassy Jasbys, Shopping Malls, The Great Jasby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 13:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18966538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/africancat/pseuds/africancat
Summary: Ruby says, "You have the opportunity to see me look even more sexy than I do on the daily. If you think I look fresh to death now just wait until you see your boy in a pair of slacks so crisp they could cut you.Jasmine smirks, "Only my baby could make the word 'slacks' sexy."





	Slacks so Crisp They Could Cut You

Ruby doesn't like to beg. He's not above doing it, he just tries to avoid it if possible. In this situation it is not possible. This is all hands on deck, and all hands on deck means if he has to beg, he's going to beg. Even though he shouldn't have to beg his girlfriend to go shopping with him, and help him pick out the best suit for his niece's stupid wedding. Yet here he is with a front row seat to Jasmine's smug smirk.

"You really want me to come?" She asks.

Ruby grits his teeth, and hisses, _"Yes._ That's. Why. I. _Asked_. You. I don't think you understand the opportunity you'd be missing here."

Jasmine purses her lips, and raises an eyebrow, "And what's that?"

Ruby blinks once at her breathy tone, before recovering, "You have the opportunity to see me look even _more_ sexy than I do on the daily. If you think I look fresh to death now just wait until you see your boy in a pair of slacks so crisp they could cut you."

Jasmine moans to herself, shaking her head slowly, "Only my baby can make the word 'slacks' sexy."

Ruby grins, and shrugs one shoulder, "And _your baby_ , might just let you have a front row seat in the dressing room." Jasmine gasps, and Ruby nods, "That's right. I'm talking Imax, baby, but _only_ if you come."

"Fine! You sold me."

"Finally, now let's go, my mom's in the car. It's a miracle she hasn't honked yet."

* * *

 

It takes Ruby a full on ten minutes of verbal tennis with his mom before she agrees to actually drop them off, and not walk around with them the whole time. She raised him, what? Does she think he has shitty taste? The only thing to worry about is if he shows up the bride and groom which he'll try not to, but no promises. His mom finally leaves him with the money, fixing him with a look before walking back out the automatic sliding doors and to the car.

Ruby's throws his head back with a sigh of relief, before walking over to Jasmine, "I did it. She's gone. Now which place should we hit up first? I have good taste, but I'm also great at balancing a checkbook, so I don't think we should go to the fanciest pl-"

Jasmine interrupts him with a deep voice, "'Men's Wearhouse, you're gonna like the way you look.'"

Ruby glares at her, only half kidding, "Jasmine. Are you even paying attention to me? This is defcon 1, okay? I need all hands on deck here and if you can't-"

She cuts him off, " _Jeez_ , Ruby, _relax."_

He huffs, and Jasmine smirks at him before grabbing his ass and pulling him against her, "Here's the plan, we're going to start from the bottom— honestly? Should've hit up a GoodWill before we came here, but that's fine, I can roll with this. Our first target— the lowest retail on the totem pole. And baby, you already know what that is."

Ruby gives her a look, and they nod, saying in unison, "Sears."

Then he shoves her hands off his ass, quickly looking around at all the people passing by. He smooths out his shirt, and tugs it down once before looking back at her and hissing, _"We are at the mall."_

Jasmine scoffs, and gives him a dirty look, "Don't act like you didn't like it."

"That is _beside_ the point. There is a time and a place for everything," Ruby gets in her face before continuing, "And my ass is too good to be grabbed in a place where you can get a soft pretzel and a 900 dollar iPhone only four feet away."

Jasmine makes a face, "What's wrong with that?"

Ruby facepalms, before collecting himself with a deep breath, and shoving their budget into his pocket, "I really don't want to say this, but can we please just go to Sears?"

* * *

 

Ruby can't help making a face as he shuffles through the racks in the mens section. The clothes are so unflattering he should be wearing gloves. Hopelessly, he throws his hands up in defeat.

"This is impossible. We could go to Party City and find better clothes than this. They all feel like cheap napkins anyway, and you know exactly the ones I'm talking about, they're rough, and thin, and if you don't grab two of them then what's the point, because I can assure you the only thing you'll be wiping is the tears of frustration when they fail you and I can't-"

Jasmine raises a hand, "Ruby. Both of us have made sacrifices, we _both_ walked into this yard sale that calls itself retail, but I'll be damned if you don't try on _one_ thing."

Ruby opens his mouth, but in the next second his arms are full with clothes, and Jasmine says, "I narrowed it down to three suits— one's solid black, classic. One's, well, okay, it's got a whole royal blue, indigo thing going on, I never had the 64 box of crayons, so I don't really know what it is, but it's cute. And a white one you can't wear because people would take one look at you and forget it was _ever_ your niece's wedding."

Ruby hums approvingly, smug, "I see. But even if I _don't_ wear that suit, all eyes will be on us cause I got you on my arm."

Jasmine raises an eyebrow, "I thought you didn't like getting groped in public."

"I don't… That's why we're finding a dressing room."

Despite never being in a Sears that has the audacity to call itself a retail store, it's still modeled as one, so they find the dressing rooms pretty quickly. They take the biggest stall, Ruby pulling Jasmine in behind him.

Jasmine sits on the bench, and Ruby hangs up all the suits she's picked out. Bringing her was definitely a good move, his lady dove has an excellent eye because these seem to be the best options out of this hellhole.

Ruby's still looking at them, assessing their quality as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. It's only when he shrugs it off his shoulders that Jasmine whoops behind him, "Sexin' it up in here!"

Turning to her with a smirk on his face Ruby says, "We can't afford to get distracted. This is about the _suits,_ and we're on a time crunch before my mom comes, and that does _not_ include us making out in this rather spacious dressing room."

"It _is_ pretty spacious, y'know if we really wanted to we could like totally have sex in here."

"No. That's disgusting. And just," Ruby shudders, "wrong. They'd kick us out of the store."

Jasmine frowns at him in confusion, "It's Sears. They'd be doing us a _favor._ Ain't nobody want to come back to this place anyway."

Ruby shrugs one shoulder and continues undressing, "True. Hell is probably a Sears with no exits."

Jasmine adds, "And you're forced to be the mannequin and wear hideous clothes without being able to rag on them at all?!"

"Yes! And then the longer you're in the clothes the more you start to actually _like_ them until whenever someone trash talks the store you stop being a mannequin just to defend it."

She gasps, and shaking her head, pulls out her inhaler, "We gotta stop, this is getting too real."

They laugh together, and Ruby finds himself in one of those rare, but welcomed moments where you realize how much you appreciate someone who you see everyday, and have of course taken for granted. Because Jasmine doesn't have to be in his life, and she doesn't have to be with him. It's just better that she is.

Ruby never saw the good in Jasmine, like how fast she can say so much, he thought it was annoying. Which by the same logic makes _him_ annoying. Their mouths come first place in every marathon, and that's a good thing for them (bad for others, like their friends); because, there's no telling how far their conversation can go, or how many turns it can take, or how many scenarios they can imagine.

Ruby's used to going on a tangent, and having his friends shut him up, or roll their eyes. Sometimes Jasmine does that too, but more often than not she hops in and goes for a ride with him which is fun as hell.

Jasmine's just a lot like him even though he failed to see it for years now. She talks a lot, she has good taste, she can dance, she has great facial expressions, she has awesome hair, and she has-

"Hello! Earth to Ruby!" Jasmine shouts, clapping her hands at him, "We have been in Sears for forty-five minutes, and I don't even know if it's going to be worth it unless you look bomb in one of the suits I picked out. _So. Let's. Go."_

Ruby holds up his hands, and moves to quickly try on the black one. It's a black suit, how good can it be, according to Jasmine it's "fabulous just because it's on your body," but that doesn't really say much. The white one is, like Jasmine predicted, aggressively sexy, and Ruby would hate to be a slab of meat in front of rabid wolves, so that's a no. But the blue one, yeah, let's just call it the blue one, looks pretty damn good.

"Oooh," Jasmine says, Ruby nodding at himself and running his hands slowly down his lapels, "Look at you, sexier than ever— and that's hard to do."

"It _is_ pretty sexy."

"But not too sexy. It's the kind of sexy where people look at you and they're like, okay, whatever, that's a nice suit, but then they have to look again because they're like _damn, that's a nice suit_ , you know what I mean?"

"I know _exactly_ what you mean," Ruby answers, and he turns away from the mirror to look at her, "But are you sure you can handle me wearing this?"

"Ruby, it's a suit, what else are you gonna do with it?"

"You may not be thinking this through, and I can understand why. I mean, if I saw someone wearing this suit as well as I am, I'd be distracted too. And if I wear this to the _wedding_ , you might have a fight on your hands," He shrugs, "Or two. Maybe even three"

Jasmine raises her eyebrow, "Why would people be fighting at a wedding— wait, is there some drama going on with your niece? Like did she steal her husband who used to be the boyfriend of her bridesmaid, who is really only a bridesmaid as an apology from your niece for stealing her boyfriend? Oh, or did she invite an ex, you _never_ invite an ex to the wedding, everyone knows-"

"What? No, Jasmine, me. You'd be fighting over _me._ Y'know," Ruby tugs on his lapels, "Cause other girls would be trying to steal _your_ man."

"Ooh. Yeah, I didn't get that."

Ruby tries not to glare, "Yes. Obviously."

"So are you getting it? The only good thing about Sears is their prices are lower, so we can most definitely get this one, and have money left for two more, maybe even three— if you want, just saying."

"I'm gonna get it. And another one from a decent store to balance out the shame of buying something from Sears. God, I've said that too many times today. We have to get out of here, it's cursed."

"Well, we can't walk out with you wearing the suit, so start undressing!"

Ruby rolls his eyes at her enthusiasm, and jumps when Jasmine gasps, slapping a hand to her chest, "Jesus, what?!"

"We forgot ties. We can get those somewhere else, but the _real_ question is are we going for ties or bow ties?"

They give each other a look, "bow ties."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't post last week bc i was stressed and kind of unsure which story i should post. i might start doing every other saturday, bc the time between made me so excited to post this today!
> 
> this one was really fun to write. I see this happening with them as a couple so easily. Honestly i feel like they'd go window shopping as a date. I don't know if it's more fun writing them as an established couple, or as a getting together fic, they're both fun in their own ways. No one asked just saying, and while i'm just saying y'all have no idea how hard i tried to get this to 2000 words exactly, but i did it and i'm proud af
> 
> That was a lot of words, anyway, kudos and comments give me life and motivation, i really hope you all enjoyed it!  
> Peace out sassy jasbys 
> 
> p.s. if you shop at sears i don't judge you. jasmine and ruby do.


End file.
